Tale of Murder Most Foul-and its almost Canabilistic.

My oldest daughter is seven. Full of wonderment, questions, and a warm heart for all things living. Its normally a good thing. She applies human characteristics to animals and intimate objects alike. Its a wonderful habit to have. No genocide or weird conversations with her. They're always wonderfully full of imagination, and games of he said/she said, all with names, personalities.

Santa bought her and her sister a Sea Monkey kit. So basically someone-I'm guessing drunk and watching his kids to close to the water.  A man-simply because only a man would come up with this crap-looked at brine shrimp and went wow they reproduce SOOOO easily, and are kind of gross. lets breed them in clear glass or plastic jars and sell them. Some poor sucker will buy this. Get this-we're going to call them  MONKEYS. BAHAHAHAHA.

So with some daddy daughter time, a week ago they "dissolve the magic powder" (eggs) in the water and wait for them to hatch. These gross things hatch and start swimming around. As per the smiling sea monkey princess instructions they're by the window, on the kitchen table. I'm in my room pretending to nap-no that's NOT the punch line. I hear "MURDERER, YOU KILLED THEM. WHATS WRONG WITH YOU?" Insert heart filled sobs here.
Then I hear her dad chime in. "FELIX GET DOWN FROM THERE IF YOU'RE THIRSTY ASK FOR A DRINK"
"mmm Nummy nummy. Waaaahhh ter mummy?" (Everyone is mummy right now with him by the way)

He did it, killed all the sea monkeys. Well not all jsut enough that we're thoroughly disgusted. And unfortunately we're going to let him get away with it. My poor bug cried for an hour. "I named them ALL, ALL OF THEM MOM!"

At least he had a serving of protein?