Two days ago I ran out of diapers. Crap. I had to load up all four kids in PJ's and stinky butts, and I needed to buy diapers. Deep breath, we loaded up and off we went. Everyone was-get this LISTENING. So I do two emergency tush changes in the van and load them back up. Now what to do with the rest of the day? Laundry? Dishes? Christmas baking? Nope I'm already on the crazy train, we're going for breakfast. A full fledged sit down breakfast at Ricky's.
I order us a big meal to split (I call it a US serving. Four pan cakes, sausages, eggs, bacon etc...you get the idea). They coloured quietly, told silly jokes, ate their meal. I was amazing and thrilled with them. An older gentleman approached the table. I had been nursing the baby-with no cover. To be honest I was gearing up for a fight. "Miss (I'm young and don't wear a wedding band...because I'm preggo fat still) Your children are wonderful, and extremely well behaved"
"Thank you sir, Merry Christmas" This is where it gets um sketchy? My oldest chimes in. Remember she's seven-so every word is VERY clear.
"We're granting daddy his Christmas wish sir. I'm trying to help so mommy doesn't loose her shit. He asked me special this morning before work. Then She doesn't have to yell so much" here have another pancake. Put the entire thing in your mouth and Stop. Talking.
Fast forward to today. Christmas Day. I'm in my room nursing the baby-family is everywhere. Kids are shrieking, the house is full of happiness. I finishing feeding Mr. Fish, burping him. And I get to thinking. Lions eat baby zebra's. Or sick and dying ones. Boy that would suck. Being eaten-especially if you were a baby. Darling husband interrupts my train of though "Whats up honey? You have your thinking face on"
(By the way I look constipated when I concentrate to hard)
"Do you think cavemen fed their babies to animals. I mean if they were being chased? I guess in theory you could always make another one. Did they like babies like we do? Did you know it was considered in Elizabethan England that you didn't have a soul until you were full grown. So children don't have souls"
Fuck, and I wonder where my kids get it from.
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