Thursday, May 29, 2014

I didnt realize i was a feminist...

It has been a rather long time since my last post-my kids toasted my lap top. by dumping milk on it. So I'm using my husbands computer, and since the kids try to break HIS key board, things like apostrophe, quotes, and other such necessary things don't work...YAY!

Any way there was a recent shooting in California, where a young man posted a video on you tube, threatening to ~kill those blond bitches~ that wouldn't have sex with him. You can read the story here. Not surprisingly I have seen different posts in regards to the shooting, his mental capacity, if only he had been paid attention to. And how people are speaking out on social media, feeling sorry for him. Laci Green has a fantastic video on the topic of sexual entitlement with men-and some women.

Also in the not so distant pass, over 200 Nigerian girls were taken. Specifically from a Christian school, to be wed, or sold into the sex trade. Already updates, are fewer and fewer. The social media fueled fever cooling for the newest cause. I know you're already tired of me hounding on old news, but I promise there is a point.

These are all cases of people feeling entitled to the sexuality of women. A lean towards a belief where sure you can choose only SOME things, but not all, and only with my permission. These are the actions of men trying to gain control of women, and their actions. The idea, that a woman who doesn't submit is a danger, and not worth keeping around.

This is so engrained into our cultural subconscious it took theses articles and happenings to come to my attention to realize its even with in easy view of my seven year old. She recently asked where babies come from, not where but the HOW. the nuts and bolts, so I told her. Using proper words, and no sugar coating. There she sat beside me making faces, and looking like she was going to vomit. she asks me:

~Mom, I don't HAVE to do that right?
~No sweetie you don't.
~but what if my husband wants me to?
~you really don't have to do anything you don't want to honey. Even if you're married, and love them
~but I have to, to keep him happy right? do what he says?
~Honey, your vagina, is YOUR vagina, as is your whole entire body. you don't ever have to share that with anyone. Who ever TELLS you, that you HAVE to is wrong. and you don't want to be with a person who cant listen to that any way.
~oh thank god!

So even at 7.5 the idea that she has to provide for her man (or woman) is so engrained into her, she understood the concept before sex-ed. When I asked her what made her think that, she went on about the TV shows, movies, and commercials she sees. She wants to be pretty and loved like those women.

This is so prevalent, that a child-my child understands, that what a man (or woman) provides, she is required to pay. some how. This worries me, what if one day she decides that her father and I were wrong and there is only one way? She is already going to be facing enough hurdles in her life because of her gender. Things like unrealistic body issues, gender equality in the work place, sexual harassment. She's blessed in where she lives, she doesn't need to worry about me selling her for pennies. I believe we need more women for women-not just the mommy wars, but the chance for every girl to become a woman and MAKE the choices she has a right to. Including, to have children or not, breast feed, work, not work, practice her religion, go to school, or not.

The idea that these choices are being denied, simply because of gender infuriates me. Or the thought of you can choose if you pay me some how. So that's why I am a feminist-the right to choose. I'm not a man hater-if I was I wouldn't have four kids.  You never know where the next big idea, solution, or cure will come from, and people are willingly disregarding an entire gender. Our battle isn't over yet ladies...