Tuesday, February 4, 2014

Shit Happens...

So I went on a mall mission with a friend today. I was a woman on a mission. Determined in my destination. The mall is a ten minute drive-door to door. So its really not that far off-unless you have a baby. After the mission was accomplished, Mr. Man decides he needs to be fed NOW. So off to the coffee shop we go, I grab an iced coffee with a muffin, sit down and whip out a boob. Good thing he's so noisy when he drinks-or I'd be worried we WOULDN'T be noticed.

Grunt, cough, strain, groan PFFFFFFFFFFFFTTTTTTTTTTTTTTPPPPPTTTT. (Thats internet speak for massive baby fart). Sigh, and he keeps going. I bring him up for a burping. He's cooing, looking around, and has decided to make up for his VERY loud declaration of hunger earlier.

Just then-PFFFFFFTTTPPPPPPTTTSSSSSPPPPPPPTTT. But this time-its different, its creeping up his back, in plain sight. Up high enough for me to realize-I've left the diaper bag in the van. With the diapers and means for cleaning him up. I look down and see a mark on my hand, while chatting away, I with all the confidence of a fourth time mom-lick my hand.

My friend jokingly says "Be careful what you lick there with that mess of his!"
I reply "Oh its just ice coffee." But here's the thing I'm not 100% confident it was. In fact, I'm now trying to bullshit my way through eating shit. I go on, buy him a sleeper and some diapers. Change him, and come home.

So remember shit happens, all the way up to your hair some times. And sometimes all you can do, is go through life with a shit eating grin.

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