Saturday, July 9, 2011

Parents are to blame for some kids today

Summer brings all types of fun out in the sun.  The pool is filled, bikes are taken out of hiding, white legs display thier reflective qualities for the first time in months. With summer time brings kids, kids, and more kids.  And with these kids comes out door birthday parties. Now Keeley and I look forward to these since both her and her sister are winter time kids. Thier dad is even a winter baby so other than that precious invitation and a few family outings we dont typically celibrate the summer months.  On Keeley's last day of preschool last year she had recieved two invitaitons to birthday parties. Both little boys that she had mentioned at home and even a couple of play dates. In fact she couldn't decide which on of these kids she was going to marry. (I know I'm horrible I let her think shes getting married). 

The first one was lots of fun, I don't have a car so his parents let me hang out and help. Keeley had a blast.  Something threw me for a loop as I was talking to his mom. Keeley and one other child in his class were the only 2 kids to RSVP and come to this party.  6-7 people didn't even bother to call her back or acknowledge their child had recieved an invitation.  This had disturbed me, since I had noticed a clique tendancy at the school while the kids played.  I sort of ignored it. All the kids were playing outside really well, and no one was crying or being hit. So I had assumed all was good. 3 weeks later I shoot mom #2 a text msg verifying details. This was because it was a little rainy and it was suppose to be outside. She had cancelled the party, no one was coming. No one other than Keeley and I had even bothered to RSVP to come. My heart just broke into 1000 pieces for her son.

I'd like to think this five year old boy is an ass hole and thats why no one was going. We all know thats not true, its because the parents didn't agree of who they are, were or some such stupid thing. Keeley had bought this boy a gift that she picked out herself. She wrote her own name and his as well in eager anticipation of this party. And she was going to be the only one nice enough to actually show up.  I believe 5 might be a little young to introduce the disappoinment factor into thier lives.

So here we sit with bullies killing each other, and cliques driving teenagers mad with envy and self hate. We need to hold these kids accountable we are all yelling-theres no more room for punishment in the school system. Everything is considered child abuse.  I sit here terrified to let Keeley go to kindergarden in case some one bullies her and theres no one to stop it-or they won't.  I believe these kids learned at least SOME of their behavior from thier parents. Like perhaps when you taught them it was okay to cut out a 5 year old boy because you weren't fond of his mother, father, or maybe he just wasn't the type of child YOU like. Shame on you, on me, and all of use to show them that cliqueing together and shutting out all is okay.

Maybe before we do anything drastic like shutting out a child who really is to young to understand whats going on, if we looked at our own kids and imagined them with no one coming to their party. We might be a little nicer to one another. Or at the very least a small child who can't stand up for himself, and is wondering why no one is there when he played with these children 3 days a week for 10 months.

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