To allow her to witness-or not?

Today I hit 34 weeks.  Six weeks until my due date, but really only 3 weeks and they won't stop me if I go into labor...or if I go over 8 weeks. But we'll leave THAT possibility alone. With Baby #3 fast approaching there's been a lot of baby talk. When he gets here this, when he gets here that, we need to do this or that BEFORE hes here.

With all this talk and my upcoming home visit, the talk has turned to a birth plan and who's going to be there with us. There's a couple obvious who's. My darling hubby, my mommy, the midwifes, and our doula.  Maybe my hubby's mom to help with the kids. But I'm uncomfortable with the possibility she'll see the action-and in a full action shot. So we're still discussing that one. And like last time-I've sort of ignored the girls role in the whole thing. Darling E will wonder whats going on but doesn't really understand it. Keke though...this time shes asked if she can be there with us. As this is a home birth really anything goes. If I want her there, everyone will be more than welcoming to have her there with us.

Now I've been a good mommy and shown her a couple birthing videos, she knows where the baby comes out of. Where hes growing. But knowing and witnessing are different things. VASTLY different things. I don't want to traumatize her so badly she'll never have kids of her own. But then again a fully working knowledge of the workings is the best sex-ed there is. Especially with her surrounded by family, and a team of midwives and our doula who shes now known for a couple years.  I want her to believe that the best way to have a baby is with your family, with love and support. Not even in the home, just surrounded by joy and happiness. Even with mommy grunting and groaning in pain. She doesn't want mommy to "have an owie THIS BIG" (that's when she held out her arms as wide as they'd go). And if she doesn't want to stay-because I won't make her. Who's going to take her somewhere else where she'd feel comfortable again? This request brings up a whole new level of logistics.

What should I do? Introduce my ever moldable 5 1/2 year old to how birth REALLY is, or maybe let a slightly flawed sex-ed course cover it vaguely in 3rd or 4th grade while I pretend I know nothing?

Holy Crap I waited 5 months...I'm horrible

As it turns out I'm an avid blog READER-not writer so much. Although there is new study to show that moms-stay at home, work at home, single, teen, married, christian, one eyed and any other kind of mom you can think of-benefit from blogging. They tend to have less depression rates over all, be more attuned to their children, and function better when they spend a few minuets a day/week blogging. So I'm going to be more vigilant about sharing my love and knowledge with the web abroad.

Here's whats going on in the mommy lane-I'm almost 32 weeks pregnant with a son!. Yay! baby time is almost here. The time has come to make a decision on all things birth related really I have any where from 5 weeks-10 weeks until baby boo gets here. Time to sort out the stuff and get going.

We have decided to do a couple things different this third time around, all kinds of crunchy granola things that make people question my intelligence. We will be encapsulating our placenta.  Its when the freshly birthed placenta is saved, dried with herbs, ground into a powder, and then taken in pill form. It suppose to support milk production, prevent post partumn depression,  re balance hormone levels faster and do all kinds of good things to my body. Or it might do nothing at all-either way seems like a fun interesting thing to try.

We've gone with a midwife again-can't remember if I've mentioned that. Up until this point the appointments are identical as the ones you'd receive with your family doc, or OB. Its now that the differences are REALLY starting to show. Birth plans, placenta encapsulation, birthing in a field while a western wind blows-we will all be naked of course. More on that later. (Well not really just getting ready to do it at home again.)  There are birth plans to make up, kits to put together, doulas to have nifty private appointments with. Really much different. I will share more next time. Don't want to over-load on my awesome birth plan-ness!

Thanks pretty people!

Home birthing works for alot of people!

I know I had earlier written a blog on home birth, but alas in the crazy world of computers was deleted some how while blogger was doing upgrades or something fun. I figured this meant it was my chance to write something a little more pro/con and not so story board.

Home birth is a very personal and intimate choice. Not only are people going to be up in your privates but they are also going to be in your home, they will be in your space, your sanctuary and most of all-your bedroom! There are alot of pros and cons to such a harrowing decision-really at the end of the day it comes down to research, hospital policies and your own personal beliefs.

The reason Neil and I had decided to go through with an attempted home birth-I say attempted because if the baby or I were dying I wasn't adverse to an ambulance ride to the hospital-was to keep it personal. This whole thing wasn't only a decision on home birth, it was also a decision on Midwifery. Since in Canada a doctor won't attend a home birth. I'm terrified of natural labor-always have been, it hurts and lets be honest theres alot of leakage afterwards. However I'm more terrified of being cut open and having my guts on display. Here is a copy of our list of pro/cons

Con:

• No easy access to drugs should I change my mind


• If there was an emergancy there would be drive time to the hospital either by car or ambulance.


• Any one could show up at my house unannounced or unwanted (not that would have happened but it COULD have)


• Accepted as a client on a conditional basis-was not guaranteed to stay in midwifery care. ie: gestational diabeties, planned c-section, disorder with the baby detected, or any other reason they would feel a home birth would endanger both the life of the baby and myself.

Pro:

• Didn't need to be discharged to go home! Baby and I were already there.


• My hubby could spend the night, in Calgary unless you are in active labor your spouse or signifigant other has to leave the hospital by 11pm and return at 8 am.


• My daughter could participate if she wanted to-she could climb into the tub with me, or go into her room and play with her barbies, and if it was the middle of the night we didn't need to find a sitter or wake her to go to the hospital.


• There is a much lower rate of C-sections, even if we did end up at the hospital.


• There was no strange bed, strange room-or roommates.


• I was guaranteed one of my midwifes would deliver my child-not someone on call at that time, I'd never met before.


• I was allowed visitors-once again in Calgary they limit who can come, grandparents and siblings only. Thats it no exceptions.


• I could go with delayed cord clamping, and baby led nursing/latching. I was also able to do skin to skin right away and not have the baby taken from me to me weighed and measured.


• this one is what convinced Neil he was going to do it. He was able to help deliver the baby himself, he would be able to help catch his daughter and cut the umbilical cord.


• There was life saving equipment in case of an emergancy-they were able to turn my bedroom into a mini hospital room to help baby until the ambulance arrived if it did come to that.


• There was immediate help with breastfeeding-as well as multiple visits through out the first two weeks to help with baby and any questions that might pop up.

For us it was an easy decision, and what most people don't realize is that a midwife can do nearly anything an OBGYN could do. Including order all the standard tests and extras if they felt it was necessary. This isn't a rant against medical intervention or advancements that have saved the lives of millions of mothers and babies. Its an informative decision we made-if you think about it, if it weren't for all those advancements we wouldn't be able to give birth at home so safely and freely. As it happens we did need to go to the hospital-which we were thankful for the chance to TRY it out at home. Thats all we wanted, even when I did end up screaming in pain and cursing myself an idiot for not doing the epidural again.

There is so much to consider and so much information to read and digest for yourself before you come to this choice. I hope every woman has the opportunity to make the decision thats right for her and be as confident as I was in mine.