To allow her to witness-or not?

Today I hit 34 weeks.  Six weeks until my due date, but really only 3 weeks and they won't stop me if I go into labor...or if I go over 8 weeks. But we'll leave THAT possibility alone. With Baby #3 fast approaching there's been a lot of baby talk. When he gets here this, when he gets here that, we need to do this or that BEFORE hes here.

With all this talk and my upcoming home visit, the talk has turned to a birth plan and who's going to be there with us. There's a couple obvious who's. My darling hubby, my mommy, the midwifes, and our doula.  Maybe my hubby's mom to help with the kids. But I'm uncomfortable with the possibility she'll see the action-and in a full action shot. So we're still discussing that one. And like last time-I've sort of ignored the girls role in the whole thing. Darling E will wonder whats going on but doesn't really understand it. Keke though...this time shes asked if she can be there with us. As this is a home birth really anything goes. If I want her there, everyone will be more than welcoming to have her there with us.

Now I've been a good mommy and shown her a couple birthing videos, she knows where the baby comes out of. Where hes growing. But knowing and witnessing are different things. VASTLY different things. I don't want to traumatize her so badly she'll never have kids of her own. But then again a fully working knowledge of the workings is the best sex-ed there is. Especially with her surrounded by family, and a team of midwives and our doula who shes now known for a couple years.  I want her to believe that the best way to have a baby is with your family, with love and support. Not even in the home, just surrounded by joy and happiness. Even with mommy grunting and groaning in pain. She doesn't want mommy to "have an owie THIS BIG" (that's when she held out her arms as wide as they'd go). And if she doesn't want to stay-because I won't make her. Who's going to take her somewhere else where she'd feel comfortable again? This request brings up a whole new level of logistics.

What should I do? Introduce my ever moldable 5 1/2 year old to how birth REALLY is, or maybe let a slightly flawed sex-ed course cover it vaguely in 3rd or 4th grade while I pretend I know nothing?

The School Sugar Coup!

I get the nut allergy thing-I really truly do. I get the no sesame thing. I just can't handle the absolutely NO SUGAR thing. Maybe its because I"m an addict, maybe I just don't love my children as much as this other ONE PARENT does. I do feel that unless your child is going to die of an allergy, its not fair to shut out 25 other students of party fun.

One mom in my daughters Kindergarten class has raised such a stink over refined sugar, that to save her own sanity the teacher has banned all sugary treats from class room events. (Birthday cupcakes, Christmas, valentines, st. Patty's day parties). Oh-okay fine, what about a meat, cheese, cracker tray thingy? Veggies and Dip? Fruit and Yogurt tray? Plain bread and cheese curds? (see this is me trying to be accommodating and not so judgemental). Nope no processed food of any kind, shes ALLERGIC to sugar. And all those things have hidden sugar in them. Plus other "carcinogens"-I am telling you her kid used this word with the teacher. Huh? who would have guessed, and here I was worried about my electric bill-clearly my priorities are slightly skewed.

In the mean time I've left my scathing comments and thought processes to myself-since for some strange reason I don't make friends easily and thought this can be something I let go. I don't volunteer, and there are days when I'm a few minuets late picking my kid (and my friends kids) from school.  Really who am I to judge a parent to TAKES the time to be involved in her child's education-especially well enough to know all the kids names.

I saw this mom at a birthday party, there she was all snuggled in with her daughter on her couch while 15 kids run around screaming like lunatics, and I"m fairly certain I saw the cat tied up in a pink tutu strapped to a dolly stroller being flung down the stairs with great abandon-my kind of party!!!! Party Mom hurriedly asked me to write down my phone number and my daughters allergies, as shes yelling at the girls treating kitty-doll like a pinata. No allergies, feed her what you want. If she draws on your wall-well I MIGHT clean it ;). I turn around to go to work, then I hear a muttered comment about my lack of concern blah blah blah. I ignore it-I'm biding my time see, there's going to be a moment when she regrets opening her mouth. Well my friends that time is TODAY!!!!!

Leprechaun hunt is on at the school, St. Patrick's day is great for kids-colour recognition, only time its okay to giggle at little people. Well I just MIGHT be showing up during class time with 48 icing filled green short bread cookies. I would feel apprehensive about my bold move-offering candy and sugar filled confections in front of 26 5-6 year olds, and the daggers of death from Miss Crunchy if I hadn't been conspiring with other mothers. Why theres a green Jell-o mold coming today as well, as green veggie only tray with green ranch dip (provided by parsley not dye). Someone mentioned juicing green veggies at home and making a punch? well sounds like a party coup to me! I'll let you know how it goes. Something tells me the teacher MIGHT be involved in this-but I feel a don't ask/don't tell approach to this is best! 

Oh Conflicting parenting styles, how you make me superior and lacking at the same time...

There always seems to be arguments amongst people (over opinionated, over inter-web educated moms mostly) on different parenting styles. The latest bash/love craze seems to be fully attached parenting.  The battle of the crunch vs. smooth.

Attachment parenting in a nut shell-co-sleeping, extended breast feeding-into 3-4 years some cases, baby carrying, baby led weaning, skipping the mush stage of food prep, cloth diapering, in some cases NO diapering (since this is MY blog I'm gonna say it-YUCK!).  From my various blog/article/study Internet over-educating of myself it seems to be really a love it or hate it sort of undertaking. 

What about those of us in between? The semi-attached? The poor sets of parents who just do whats easiest for their squawk addicted babies who want to sleep with us, but still use the crib in a different room on a regular basis. The moms not whipping a boob out for them right before they head into afternoon preschool? Its this weird sort of limbo that makes it very hard to give a convincing argument in either direction.  We look un-committed and "try-hard". Trend following, vogue wave riding parents so to speak.

I never really breast fed my first I "tried" for about 2 days. My second I happily breast fed until I became pregnant with our 3rd at 8 months. I would have happily done it longer if I felt like holding a squirmy kicky, hyper active 8 month old to my sore nauseated tummy. I always thought I'd try it for the "years" category. Until one faithful day dropping my oldest off at kindergarten. I saw it-the attached mom I did NOT want to be.  She had her four year son in a sling-already made me judge her in a completely unnecessary way. Chatting with her just a little bit, then I noticed, little dude wasn't sick, or sleeping he was hanging out nursing. Just a little boob for snack-then he lifted his head, covered her chest himself and loudly declared "I'm done mommy!"  I was officially VERY uncomfortable.  Didn't help that I had full boob view for about 30 seconds...Too much naked of that one person I did not want to see. Nope, I'm obviously not very attachment that way.

I think I'll just keep doing what I"m doing. Pretending to be "attached" with my co-bedding only until a few months old, then its crib time for babe.  My 12 months (hoping) of breast feeding then they can go hang out at the dinner table.  I'm still in the middle hanging out here, pretending to be crunchy-when in fact I'm just not really all that much.

Holy Crap I waited 5 months...I'm horrible

As it turns out I'm an avid blog READER-not writer so much. Although there is new study to show that moms-stay at home, work at home, single, teen, married, christian, one eyed and any other kind of mom you can think of-benefit from blogging. They tend to have less depression rates over all, be more attuned to their children, and function better when they spend a few minuets a day/week blogging. So I'm going to be more vigilant about sharing my love and knowledge with the web abroad.

Here's whats going on in the mommy lane-I'm almost 32 weeks pregnant with a son!. Yay! baby time is almost here. The time has come to make a decision on all things birth related really I have any where from 5 weeks-10 weeks until baby boo gets here. Time to sort out the stuff and get going.

We have decided to do a couple things different this third time around, all kinds of crunchy granola things that make people question my intelligence. We will be encapsulating our placenta.  Its when the freshly birthed placenta is saved, dried with herbs, ground into a powder, and then taken in pill form. It suppose to support milk production, prevent post partumn depression,  re balance hormone levels faster and do all kinds of good things to my body. Or it might do nothing at all-either way seems like a fun interesting thing to try.

We've gone with a midwife again-can't remember if I've mentioned that. Up until this point the appointments are identical as the ones you'd receive with your family doc, or OB. Its now that the differences are REALLY starting to show. Birth plans, placenta encapsulation, birthing in a field while a western wind blows-we will all be naked of course. More on that later. (Well not really just getting ready to do it at home again.)  There are birth plans to make up, kits to put together, doulas to have nifty private appointments with. Really much different. I will share more next time. Don't want to over-load on my awesome birth plan-ness!

Thanks pretty people!