Conversations with my Family-And the hunch no one takes me seriously

This morning, getting Keke ready for school. Bugging her about something small and insignificant. 


Keeley: you're the only one who thinks you're funny mom. 
Me: I agree. Everyone else thinks I'm HILARIOUS.
Keeley: isn't that the same thing? A lie?

Trying to run myself a "relaxing" bath, hours after Beth is SUPPOSED to be in bed...

Elizabeth: Mommy why you have a bath, is your butt stinky?
me: Yup stinky butt, get out of the bathroom
E: Mommy do you use lots of soap on your stinky butt?
m: Lots, get out. 
E: Mommy is Fimlee (Finlay) still in your belly? Is that why its round? Did they cut Fimlee out with scissors?
M: No he's in the living room, and No, mommy pushed him out of her vagina. NEIL (hubby) COME GET YOUR DAUGHTER
E: HOLY SHIT, YOUR POOR GINA!

I'm now IN the tub, with out an Elizabeth commentary.

Neil: Here's your tea.
Me: Thank you, I'm so lucky to have you
Neil: Yes, you are.
Me: Excuse you? don't I get a subtle demure, an act of humble, a surprise of your apparent awesome
Neil: No, have you seen my package? There's no need for airs.

And this friends is why I'm every so slightly off...look at what I participate in. 

Still want a Toddler one day?

Setting the scene: Quiet toddlers (warning sign number one). Hubby and I watching TV, and surfing our perspective internet sites.

Beth: Boy I like building sand castles

Daddy: (Neither of us looking up )Oh yea? You like sandcastles eh?

Beth: yup, so squishy, I like the wet bits

Daddy: (still not looking up) So fun isn't it? Wait-what wet bits?

Beth: mmm its Crunchy.

Daddy:  GET OUT OF THERE, THATS POOP AND PEE. GO WASH YOUR HANDS NOW.

Beth: NO, NO I WILL NEVER WASH MY HANDS STOP IT. NEVER EVER.  

Daddy advances on the little lady, she backs up-and lets out a blood curdling scream. 

"NO YOU'RE HURTING MY FEELING, NO STOP IT I WON'T WASH NOTHING, YOU CAN'T MAKE ME. STOP HITTING ME SO HARD (he was NOT hitting her, he was wiping her hands with a cloth at this point) NO DON'T YOU EVER DARE! PUT ME DOWN, I DO MY OWN SELF FATHER." 

I'm laughing so hard, I'm of absolutely no use to any one-ever.

We all need prayers.

I'm part of a due date/mommy Facebook group. I found the link through an on-line baby website. I don't know all of these women who share so much, so far apart. However, they have become an integral part of my support system. Typed words of encouragement or reality that help me through my day.

This global support system is a prime example of the positives of social networking. Any bullying or drama promptly squashed energizing and breathing life into a supportive, loving space. Even if only through wifi.

Some of these women need our prayers and support. So I'm reaching out to my friends and family, to widen the net of thoughts, hope, and strength.

One woman, shortly after Christmas, in her home in Australia. Her partner lost his battle with depression and took his own life. She found him in their shed. She and the daughter left behind need so much more than we know. I hope and pray he found his happiness, and I hope he's in a better position to watch over them.

Yesterday, another wonderful lady. Lost her son Enrique to heart failure. He was only a few months old. The heart breaking sorrow of loosing a child has touched her life. She also needs everyone. Even if she can't say it.

These women have helped me find my blessing and strength. We need your help please.

Thank you internet family and friends, for all you do.

Doin' it All backwards.

My wonderful husband hooked me up with a set of three books. Compilations of humorous mommy blog posts. I LOVE them. They make me laugh, so damn hard. And give me hope for the future. I've noticed some things all these people seem to have in common.

• They're all writers by profession-I don't even have time to take a crap much less go to school. So I'll never be the "professional blogger." 
• They are in their late thirties, to early forties. Now I don't know what it says about me, to relate to someone who is at a minimum 10 years older than me. I like to think its because I'm eternally wise beyond my years. Or perhaps an old soul come to spread my ever bubbly and brilliant personality and wisdom. 
• I'm no where near as funny as I think I am. There's nothing like well established blogs with thousands of likes to come to that soul crushing realization. 
• They are FAR more capable of navigating inter-web space. I can't make my own meme to save my life. I JUST figured out you can receive private messages on twitter. Who am I kidding, I just figured out how to "follow" people on twitter. 

So I figured it out, I forgot to live my twenties full of dreams, and hopes for my future self, and gorgeous children. I haven't paid my dues so to speak. I just spread 'em and pop 'em out like pez. I figure you find a talent and you stick with it. I'm doin' it all backwards. Babies first. Education, savings, dumb purchases later.

I'll be honest I don't WANT to pay any dues, I want to be funny and popular NOW. I wish for all the awesome and fun to be handed to me with grand fanfare. A parade will do-maybe two. With a case of wine, and everyone laughing at my jokes, emulating my style. One day, I'll get there. Just you wait and see.

In the mean time here is a list of blogs I enjoy.

Baby Sideburns
howtobeadad.com
Mom's Who Drink and Swear
People I want To Punch in the Throat
and finally-Sleep Talkin Man

Jeeze is any one surprised I enjoy these with main titles as such?

Have fun reading friends!